Dateline, Camp David, Nov. 23, 2007.
Being a fellow Yale man, and a secret member of ‘Skulls and Bones,’ I checked with my boy Dubya on his picks for ’08.
This is what he said to me and my partner:
“Well now lil’ feller and listen up lil’ girl,’
“Rudy, He’s kinda stubborn, loyal. But the boys on Wall St like him, Tho he arrested a couple guys way back when. Putting the Emergency Response office in the World Trade Center was kinda dumb. But he made out ok. And that boy Keric. I don’t know. Tough like Cheney, but dumb as a rock. The Log Cabins like Rudy, like how he likes them, like how he dresses up. Rudy’s ok, He’s not one of us, but we can use him.
“And Mitt, He’s one of them Mormon Christians. Kind of wishy-washy. Must be a Massachusetts thing. Shoulda stayed in Oklahoma, or Minnesota, or Michigan. Whatever. I do like how he pretends to forget that Obama-guy’s name, calls him Osama. I would say ‘him running for Presidnet, he’s Barakin up the wrong tree. Get it – Barak – Bark. Heh, heh, heh. (At this he scratched Barney’s ears.) Anyways, Mitt calling Obama ‘Osama,’ that’s good. Not Karl Rove ‘McCain had a illigititate kid good,’ not ‘Lee-Atwater / Willie-Horton good,’ but good. I wonder if he’s behind that ‘Obama is a Moslem’ thing. That’s real good. Maybe even ‘Rove-Atwater’ good. Mitt’s not one of us. I claimed to be willing to work with the other side. Mitt really is willing to work with them liberal communinst pinkos. Then he regrets it. Sorta like havin’ too much to drink one night and wakin’ up with a headache. Like health care in Massachusetts. He’s not really one of us. Dangerous.
“Mike Huckabee, he’s misguided. He’s kind of like a Damn-o-crat. But he’s a Christian, so he can’t really be a Damn-o-crat. Do you think Jesus would be a Damn-o-crat? Buildin’ schools? Helpin’ the poor? Give people health care? Create jobs? Protect the enviro-mint? Why that boy Huckabee actually believes that the purpose of Gov-mint is to provide for the consumers, who he calls ‘citizens’ when actuality it’s jist to funnel taxpayer money from people who work fer a living to your friends and mine who own and manage large corp-rations and live on stock dividends and bonds. He’s not really ok. I don’t know how he calls his self a Christian. He even claims he’s a minister.
“The thing is, who-ever wins don’t matter. We might even give them 4 years of Hillary so they think things is ok. So they believes their precious Const-It-Too-Shun is working. Then Jeb’ll run in 2016 and Jenna in 2024. Squash that Const-It-Too-Shun theory like Evolution.
“But don’t tell anyone.
“And remember, we’re listening. You think it’s only China what is monitoring the Inter-anet?”