Monthly Archives: July 2008

The Nero’s Fiddle Award Goes To – John McCain

This week’s coveted Nero’s Fiddle Award goes to John “W” McCain for the ad in which he compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. (I think Ms. Hilton does a great job of marketing herself and her “brand” and Ms. Spears has a splendid voice and looks good in her costumes, but with all due respect, neither have gone to Columbia and Harvard Law, at least not yet.)

It was a no-brainer – awarding the award – because the ad shows that McCain and his staff have no brains. First of all, Rick Hilton, Paris Hilton’s daddy, was a McCain supporter – one of the few. So was his wife, Paris’ mom, Cathy Hilton. And so was Brittney Spears. (And I understand that the endorsement from Brittney meant a lot to McCain – or at least Cindy McCain. I think John McCain enjoyed the rock videos. What 72 year old guy wouldn’t enjoy Brittney Spears’ rock videos?)

Still, this is great news for Chihuahua breeders. It’s a lot easier for Obama’s famous fans to emulate Obama by buying a Chihuahua then by attending and graduating Columbia University and Harvard Law, by editing the Harvard Law Review, then teaching Constitutional Law, and then running and winning an honorable campaign to the U. S. Senate.

The Chihuahua option is cheaper too. You don’t need an education to buy a Chihuahua, you don’t even need much intelligence; you just need a pooper scooper – which is something you can get from the McCain campaign.

You need intelligence and an education to even go to Columbia and Harvard Law – which is something you can’t get from the McCain campaign.

This may backfire on the McCain-ista. The people who love and respect Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, may actually register to vote and vote for Obama. Ask Rick, Cathy, and Paris Hilton how they feel.

I hope it doesn’t backfire on the McCain-ista. I’ll have nothing to write about. On the other hand, if Obama wins and the economy improves, I’ll be too busy working and planning my investments to crack wise on this blog.

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My Prediction – McCain – By $100 Million

Senator John McCain is worth about $100,000,000 – assuming his wife dies and he inherits her fortune. Therefore he has a lot of money to spend becoming President. But he doesn’t have to spend it all. Traditionally, we Americans pick the dumb guy, so he’s a shoe in.

Think about it – in 2000 there were two Viet Nam veterans, Gore and McCain, and a draft-dodger, Bush. We elected the draft dodger. While he lost the popular vote, he won by 5-4 in the Supreme Court.

Again in 2004, there was one Viet Nam veteran and a draft dodger. Again we elected the draft dodger – and this time he actually won the popular vote (altho that may have been because certain people were excluded from voting in Ohio).

So today the election is between the Navy Pilot who lost 5 planes, including the one in which he was shot down, and the Harvard Law alum who edited the Harvard Law Review and went on to teach Constitutional Law, became a State Senator, then a United States Senator. You might think that having a President who actually understands and respects the Constitution would be a good idea, but, education is so old fashioned, no one’s educated today. President Bush ignores the Constitution, and the way the Republicanista have stacked the courts pretty soon no one will have the right to sue any corporation so what’s the point in knowing the law or the Constitution?

But we’ll always have Paris. Maybe she’ll run for President.

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Homer Simpson on Due Process

I think Homer Simpson said:
‘All men are created equal’ means ‘The poor guy, accused of murder, has the same right to a “fair” trial before being executed as the rich guy who paid him to bump off Mrs. Rich Guy.’

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The Coveted Nero’s Fiddle Award goes to PHIL GRAMM

Phil Gramm’s statements that the United States is in a “mental recession” and that we are a “nation of whiners” earned him the coveted “Nero’s Fiddle” award. The award, which is redeemable in cash, unmarked bills, or in deposits to a certain Swiss bank account, keeps the recession in the mind but out of the pockets of this so-called “whiner.”

While it doesn’t have the cachet of Marie Antoinette’s “Let them eat cake,” or Donald Rumsfeld’s “you go to war with the army you have,” Gramm’s statements are succinct, eloquent, and clear.

They also show that Gramm, who serves as McCain Campaign co-chair, and cice chair of investment bank UBS, and who is referred to as “McCain’s Econ Brain” understands exactly what most Americans are going thru, despite the facts of the personal wealth that he and his wife Wendy Gramm enjoy. Gramm understands the problems on Wall Street. UBS, which he is “Vice Chair” has declined in value to 2002 levels in the last year.

He also knows about energy costs. According to Jason Leopold, writing in the Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel, “Gramm, as a powerful Texas senator in 2000, slipped an Enron-backed provision into the Commodities Futures Modernization Act that exempted from regulation energy trading on electronic platforms. Then, over the next year, Enron – with Gramm’s wife Wendy serving on its board of directors – worked to create false electricity shortages in California, bilking consumers out of an estimated $40 billion.”

It is not currently known who is worth more, Gramm, or McCain. The Presumptive Republican nominee is worth an estimated $50 million. (If Arizona is a community property state and Cindy McCain were to dump him for someone younger, he would get $50 million.) Gramm, on the other hand and as noted, is Vice Chairman of UBS.

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