In a move that may disappoint social Conservatives,Mike Huckabee, Republican Governor turned Fox News commentator / entertainer announced that he is not running against President Obama in 2012. “I lost to McCain in 2008, I don’t want to lose to Obama in 2012. Maybe I’ll run in 2016. I should be able to beat Biden. And I’m making $2 Million at Fox. Why give that up?” Like most of the Republicans, he spends most of his time pandering to the far right and groveling to would-be kingmakers. But when he is candid and honest; he’s refreshing and almost charismatic. Like Pres. Reagan, who raised taxes 11 times over the course of his Presidency, Huckabee, as Arkansas’ Governor, raised taxes to pay for schools. He also referred to the “Club of Growth” as the “Club of Greed.” Conservative kingmaker Grover Norquist seeks to apply to the United States the “Starve the Beast” tactic, a variation of the “Feed it till it Bursts” tactic Reagan applied to the Soviet Union. This has resulted in a terrible loss of infrastructure in the United States as our roads are full of potholes, bridges are crumbling, schools are declining and as the Europeans, and Chinese are pulling ahead in manufacturing, solar power, wind power, and railroads.
Donald “The Donald” Trump, the real estate mogul from New York City, in a move that was sure to disappoint comedians, also bowed out of the race. Despite giving more support to Democrats than Republicans while George Bush was President and Republicans had a majority in both the House and the Senate, Trump was talking about running as a Republican and was proud of his major accomplishments: inheriting a fortune, going bankrupt once or twice, marrying three models, divorcing two, firing people on television, hiring people to write trivial books about Donald Trump, and demanding that President Obama ask Hawaiian authorities to release his birth certificate. As profoundly important as these accomplishments may be, “The Donald” appears to believe that he was trumped by the President’s recent accomplishment – authorizing the successful “Capture or Kill” mission against Osama bin Laden, which resulted in bin Laden’s death and the capture of a treasure trove of information, albeit with the loss of one American helicopter. Trump will return to what he does best, firing people and boasting.
Disappointing both her supporters and the comedians,Sarah Palin has been strangely quiet. This is particularly upsetting to Tina Fey and the writers and producers of Saturday Night Live. Palin’s last known public statement, that former President Bush deserves credit for the mission President Obama authorized that killed bin Laden, can only be described as a “gift” to comedians and “baffling” to rational people.
That leaves Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Michelle Bachmann, Chris Christie, Herman Cain, and Ron Paul.
Mitt Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts, looks to this self-styled pundit as the putative Republican front-runner in the campaign to lose the election of 2012. While Romney opposed the Cape Wind offshore wind farm that will generate electricity without pollution, he can honestly be credited with passing the Massachusetts Health Care Plan, also known as Obama-Care 1.0. (click). Voters, however, will have to ask themselves “why elect a moderately liberal Republican like Romney when they can elect a moderately liberal Democrat like Obama.
Tim Hosni Pawlenty is an American of Polish and German, not middle-eastern origin. While he can count on the support of Hosni Mubarek, and Republicans of middle eastern-origin, he probably cannot count on the support of Democrats or independents of middle-eastern origin.
Michelle Bachmann, stepping in to fill the void left by Sarah Palin, aspires to be the next hot middle aged babe on the Republican ticket. It really doesn’t matter what she says, as long as she smiles appropriately. This is terrific news for Saturday Night Live. Sources tell us that Kristen Weig is rehearsing echoing platitudes, staring into space and looking away from the camera.
Disappointing Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and Progressives in New Jersey,Chris Christie is steadfast and adamant that he is not running, yet. “I wish he’d run,” said a gay, Vegan, tree-hugging community organizer, on the condition of anonymity, “it would limit the damage he’d do here in Jersey.”
Herman Cain, the Pizza Guy, one of about 1.1 million African Americans in the 55 million strong Republican Party, said, “Hey, I know I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of beating Obama. And I don’t know if I want to. He’s doing a good job, and all those black kids look up to him. But can you imagine how many pizzas I’m gonna sell with this? Do you have any idea of the Return On Investment of this ‘candidacy’? Man, it’s huge. Huge! And I’m talking to Murdoch about my own reality show. We’ll call it ‘Pizza Man’ or ‘President? or Pizza Man?’ or Pizza Man President! I’ll get Eddie Murphy to play me.”
Ron Paul, the uncompromising libertarian physician turned Congressman, who’s medical practice was devoted to Medicare patients, wants to legalize all drugs, including marijuana, cocaine, LSD and heroin, and eliminate all government programs, including education, research, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, NASA, NOAA, the ATF, the IRS, the CIA, the NSA, the FBI, and the Defense Department. “Fergit the 1950’s, we need to return to the 1850’s,” he said. When it was pointed out that the US in 1850 had about 23 million people, and about 3.2 million were slaves, the wiley Texan said “Yep, so, what’s yer point? I mean, we’re all slaves to our hearts and our debts.”