Category Archives: DIversity

The GOP Embraces Diversity

The GOP Embraces Diversity,

Omeha, NE, June 20.

Michael Steele, one of approximately 16,500 African Americans in the 55 million strong GOP, announced a new Diversity Initiative in the GOP. Steele intends to double the membership in the GOP. In doing so he will also double the number of African Americans, Jews, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists, and Atheists (well, maybe not Moslems and atheists) by 2020. He will do this in part by bringing back Colin Powell. He acknowledged that if he doubles the membership of the GOP, and doubles the number of African Americans, Jews, and others their numbers, as a percentage will remain constant. “That’s a statistic. And statistics,” he said, “are for geeks.”

Steele also intends to embrace homosexuals, figuratively, but not literally. “We will embrace gays, figuratively speaking, of course,” he said.

The GOP is planning on hosting a Christian and Diverse Music Festival featuring the Village People, Mattisyahu, Bette Middler, and Bob Marley in Branson, Mo.

The precise demographic breakdown of the GOP is below. Steele acknowledge that the GOP is 99.48% white Christians, and even if the population of those others doubles, it will still be 99.04% white Christians. “This is America,” he said. “We want to fit white in.”

Total

Per 10,000

Percentage

Description

54,714,000

9948

99.48%

White Christians, including Evangelicals, Roman Catholics, Protestants, Mormans, Greek Orthodox, and Hispanics of Cuban Origin

225,500

41

0.41%

Asians

16,500

3

0.03%

Hispanics, of non-Cuban origin

11,000

2

0.02%

Jews

16,500

3

0.03%

African Americans

5,500

1

0.01%

Asian Buddists

5,500

1

0.01%

Native Americans

5,500

1

0.01%

Athiests

55,000,000

10000

100.00%

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