Category Archives: McCain Palin

Palin and McCain Argue Over Her Wardrobe

RNC HQ, the Campaign Trail. Oct. 24, 2008. An angry John McCain lit into Sarah Palin about her wardrobe.

Our sources have provided a transcript of their conversation.

“How could you possibly spend $150,000 on clothes in two months?” McCain asked Palin. “What did you buy? $150,000 in two months? That’s more than I’ve spent clothes in my entire life, and I’m 72 years old. It’s almost as much as my wife makes in a week, or a month, or something like that. It’s what Joe the plumber will make in two, maybe three years. What were you thinking?”

“C’mon McCain,” Palin said, “I’m helping the economy. And it’s not your money. And besides, you don’t let me talk to the press. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Well you could read the Constitution, for Chris-sakes. And Jeez Palin, $150,000 on clothes? It’s more than Paris Hilton spends. It’s even more than Imelda Marcos spent on shoes!”

“I know Paris. She’s sweet. She looked real good in that bathing suit in the campaign ad she did. I should take her wolf hunting from my helicopter. Who is Imelda Marcos? Is she a Cuban? Did I meet her in Miami?”

“How can you not know Imelda Marcos?” McCain yelled. “I made you the Vice President candidate. I can break you. You’re fired.”

Palin was as cool as Obama: “The election is 11 days from today. You’re gonna lose without my church ladies, my hockey moms and all those Joe Sixpacks who love me. Larry Flynt, the magazine publisher, is making a movie about me, “Nailin’ Pailin’ or somethin’. Tina-Fay Somebody, that girl from “Saturday Night Live” and “30 Rocks” loves to play me – I’m the best thing that happened to her in her whole career. And you can’t say ‘You’re fired.’ You’re not Donald Trump.”

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Sarah Palin: Another Historic Second From The GOP

Dayton, Ohio. August 29, 2008. You got to hand it to the GOP: Another historic second from the Republican Party. Only 24 years after the Democrats nominated Geraldine Ferraro for Vice President, and after seeing what Hillary Clinton means to people who believe in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, blue collar and green collar workers, and education, the Republicans have nominated Sarah Palin, who doesn’t “believe” in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, education, or even “science” for Vice President and, as the Republicans put it, “Vice Commander in Chief.”

But she entered a beauty contest. Who did he consult? Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flynt?

And at 44 she is one of the youngest candidates for vice President ever. And at 72 John McCain is one of the oldest. Is there an age problem? Let’s think about this. She’s 44. He’s 72. 44 plus 72 is 116, 116 divided by two is 58. The average age on the Republican ticket is 58. There’s no age problem.

A few weeks ago McCain criticized Obama’s popularity, comparing him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then Rick and Cathy Hilton – Paris’ parents – criticized him, and Paris herself weighed in on Energy Policy. Paris is no Al Gore, but I wish she was a friend of mine. McCain actually nominated a beauty pagent contestant for Vice President. Have they been watching “Legally Blonde”?

The Democrats say Palin has no international experience. But she’s from Alaska. That’s practically a foreign country. I don’t know what they’re talking about.

Questions for Sarah Palin

  1. Are you related to Michael Palin, of Monty Python’s Flying Circus?
  2. As a former Beauty Queen – Did you win the “Constitutional Law Competition,” the “Bathing Suit Competition,” or the “Talent Competition”?
  3. As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, have you ever wanted to join OPEC?
  4. As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, how do you feel about Solar Energy and Wind Power?
  5. Did Condi Rice threaten to “Scratch Your Eyes Out” because she wasn’t picked? And if so, what are you prepared to do about it?

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