Category Archives: Sarah Palin

Brittney, LiLo, Snookie, Ann, Sarah, and W.

Brittney Spears, like Lindsay Lohan, really cares about America, and humanity, particularly young women, young girls – their fan bases. Like Nicole “Snookie” Polozzi their “antics” are a carefully thought out existential drama designed to show girls and young women, their mothers, fathers and brothers, especially those in lower socio-economic strata – all of us – that wealth doesn’t buy happiness, that no matter how much money you have, you still have to wrestle with intoxicants, people who don’t want to share, men who treat you as sex objects . . . . How else do you explain Brittney’s famous act of performance art in emerging from a cab in a short skirt hiked up to her waist, with her panties carefully concealed?

Like other visionary women, they are misunderstood. Ann Coulter – at first glance you would think she personally hates Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Meghan McCain. However, if you look beneath the surface you might find a coke-whore who secretly wants to have Bill’s baby, McCain’s baby, or Hillary’s baby, but knowing this is impossible, masks her tragedy in addiction, anger, and best selling rants and diatribes.

Or Sarah Palin. The former Governor who earned $13 Million in speaking fees may be the barely educated former governor of a state who’s population is about the same as Monmouth County, New Jersey, or Bensonhurst, Sheepshead Bay, and Coney Island, Brooklyn. She may be the former mayor of a town with a population about the size of an apartment building in the Bronx or on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. But she challenges our assumptions about what it means to be coherent. She recently said “those protesters in Egypt, I don’t know if they are telling the truth.” While I realize she said that while walking AND chewing gum, what are the protesters saying? They seem to be saying “We want Mubarek out of office.” But that phrase is so wrought with ambiguity – do they want to take him out for drinks? (Well, not the Moslem Brotherhood). How about a nice lunch of roasted lamb with rice and tea? Maybe they want him out of his office so they can paint it? Regardless, she challenges our assumption that the office of the President of the United States should be held by someone who can think deeply, and make decisions based on rational assessment of the facts and scientifically observable data. After all, W held it for 8 years, 8 long years during which we lurched from one catastrophic decision to the next as if passengers in a bus driven by a nearsighted drunk on magic mushrooms. How hard can it be?

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Filed under Ann Coulter, Brittney Spears, George W. Bush, Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Palin, Snookie

Obama and Palin – the Best of Both Worlds

Obama and Palin – the Best of Both Worlds

Washington, DC, April 1, 2011. The White House announced that President Barack Obama has appointed former Governor Sarah Palin as “Liaison to the Conservative Community.” The White House also appointed professor and “former” radical Bill Ayers “Liaison to Socialists, Progressives, and Other Kooks.”

Bill McKibben was briefly considered for the job of “Sustainability Tzar” however Tim Geithner, Larry Sommers, Steven Chu and Ken Salazar persuaded the President that “we don’t need a Sustainability Tzar, we need more growth of GDP and unregulated derivatives, and more consumption of fossil fuels coupled with Rube-Goldbergian carbon sequestration technologies, to be invented soon, and nuclear fusion, which is only 50 years away, maybe less.”

Quoting Alan Greenspan, they said, “with a syncopatedly integrated interperiodic boom-bust bubble-pop series of macroeconomic cyclical events we will sustain high employment with simultaneous episodic high unemployment, causing elevated productivity and de-elevated wages, giving many people almost enough purchasing power to buy most of the necessities they need to live productively, work their entire lives, creating terrific debt, and give their children all the education they will need, unless they get sick.” Obama took two aspirin and sent them away, calling for Palin and George W. Bush, saying, “bring me some real Amaricans I can understand.”

Ayers could not be reached for comment. However, we were able to locate him using radio signals from his cell-phone. He is on a hunting trip with Mike Huckabee and Dick Cheney, and is expected to resurface re-educated and working with the Tea Party Movement.

Palin, however, said, “I’m a former ‘Weather Girl,’ so I can work with a ‘Weather Man.’ However, I’m not sure I can take the job because ‘liaison’ is a French word and I make more money egging on, I mean ‘speaking to’ the Tea Party activists.”

Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh, on Fox News and other conservative oriented comedy broadcasting called it “a trick,” missing the point that it was “a joke.”

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Filed under Barack Obama, Energy, Sarah Palin, Sustainability

Meet the Senator and his Daughters

Massachusetts Senator-Elect Scott Brown, flanked by his daughters, Ayla and Arianna.

“Just in case anyone who’s watching throughout the country, yes they’re both available,” Brown shouted.

As the crowd started to hoot – and a look of extreme annoyance crossed the face of daughter Arianna, and his wife Gail let out a mortified gasp – the future senator did his best to reel in his comment.

“No, no. No. Only kidding, only kidding. Only kidding, only kidding,” he said. “Arianna… Arianna’s, definitely not available.”

“But Ayla is,” he added.

Brown, the Senator-Elect and former Cosmo Boy, was also voted “Senator most likely to go ‘hiking’ on the Appalachian Trail.”

Sarah Palin is looking to Brown to be her running mate in 2012.

This may be what happens when you legalize marijuana.

It proves that the once-blue state of New Jersey is not the only place where voters exercise bad judgment.

The election also proves that Dumb-ocrats fail to understand that in order to make policy, you have to be good at politics. Or just sexy.

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Filed under politics, Sarah Palin, Scott Brown

Good News, From a Marxist – Trotskyite Perspective, About the Whale Hunts.

Hunting whales for food violates international law (WSPA, National Geographic). It’s illegal. Iceland and Norway ignore the ban. The Japanese claim to adhere to it by claiming to hunt whales for “scientific” reasearch. After the experiments are complete, they eat the subjects. The experiments seem to be in methods of killing and butchering whales. But here’s a news flash – scientists don’t eat the dogs, cats, chimps, rats, and fruit flies on they which they experiment. Systematic “scientific” study of different recipies is not permitted by the treaties that ban commercial whaling. The Inuit, Pacific Coast Native Americans and aboriginal Icelanders claim it’s their culture. This may be true, however, as Captain Paul Watson, of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society has observed, their traditional culture includes neither modern factory ships, nor commercial sales of whale meat to the Japanese.

But there is good news, at least from a Marxist – Trotskyite perspective, about the Whale Hunts.

Mercury causes brain damage – which is why I don’t eat tuna.

PCB’s disrupt endocrine function – which is why I am giving up all fish. And I would go hungry rather than eat whale meat.

Eating whale meat is like eat rats that have been killed with rat poison. Not a good idea.

The “good” news is that whale meat is so full of mercury, PCB’s, and other toxins (Informaworld, Human Health Significance of Organocholorine and Mercury Contaminants in Japanese Whale Meat, Simmonds, Haraguchi, et al, Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health) that it will kill the whale eaters, perhaps before they kill all the whales. Maybe the real question the Japanese “Scientists” are answering is “Which will happen first: epidemic Parkinson’s in Japan or Extinction of the Whales?”

Maybe this explains Lou Dobbs’ nonsensical rants about Obama’s birth. Maybe Lou Dobbs is not a racist, maybe he has eaten so much tuna and whale meat that he has mercury poisoning. And maybe it explains George W. Bush, Norm Coleman, Anne Coulter, Larry Craig, Bobby Jindal, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Michael Steele, and all the rest. Maybe they’ve eaten so much whale meat, tuna, and mercury laden caviar that they have Minamata Disease – mercury poisoning. After all, they are as mad as hatters.

What do you think?

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Filed under George W. Bush, Lou Dobbs, Sarah Palin, Sea Shepherd, Whale

Hunting Now Considered Feminine Behavior

Anchorage, Alaska. Dec. 25. Hunting Now Feminine Behavior for Conservative Republicans. It is well known that hunters want to kill to be in touch with their primitive side. They want to dominate beings and kill them in order to feel tough, masculine, heroic, and all that.

Of course, this begs the question of “How does shooting a defenseless living being at a distance of 100 yards or greater, or from a helicopter Sarah Palin Style, make one feel tough, masculine, heroic and all that?” This raises a second question. Given that Sarah Palin hunts, and given that Palin is a female and a de facto role model of femininity for conservative Republicans, then isn’t hunting now a
feminine behavior for conservative Republicans?

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Filed under Bill Of Rights., Gun Nuts, Hunting, Sarah Palin, Second Amendment

A Place for Caribou Barbie in the Obama Administration

I think Obama should create a position for Sarah ‘Caribou Barbie’ Palin in his Administration. She may not be good on energy policy, or foreign policy, and she can’t tell a professor from a terrorist (altho when you think about it, with their emphasis on reading books and thinking, intellectuals really are subversive). She doesn’t read newspapers, and she doesn’t know of any Supreme Court decisions she would change … but she is good at shopping, and spending Republican campaign funds. And in doing so she does us proud (and helps the Democrats). In her own inimitable way she helped elect Barack. So I think Obama should appoint her “Shopper-in-chief” authorized to spend RNC money on clothes, shoes, snowmobiles, make-up. Whatever. In addition to spending RNC money in ways that help Democrats, if she continues to spend $150,000 per month she will do more than any one person, with the possible exception of Paris Hilton, to jump-start the economy.

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Filed under Caribou Barbie, President Obama, Sarah Palin

When I Look At Palin All I See Are Boobs

George W Bush and John “W” McCain

How do you feel about McCain’s Decision to put Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from the Presidency?
It’s cynical.
It’s opportunistic.
It’s demeaning to women.
Karl Rove would be proud – and so would Stalin.

What does it say about McCain?
He’s a Maverick.
He’s an unabashed misygonist.
Hefner would be proud.
He has no respect for women.
He has no respect for the voters.
He has no respect for himself.
I don’t care about McCain. Obama will be good for the country – my country – and the world – my planet.

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Filed under John McCain, Sarah Palin

Palin and the GOP: I Can Hardly Wait

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is the featured speaker at the Grand Old Party conference tonight. I can hardly wait. Click Here for the Washington Independent or Here from Anne from Alaska on Sarah Barracuda Palin Images

I imagine Gov. Palin will talk about “Family Values” and being a “Hockey Mom.” She should talk about becoming a “Soccer Mom” because if we follow the Bush McCain energy strategy the tundra will melt and soccer will replace fishing in Alaska. Who cares if we lose New Oleans, Florida, the Outer Banks, the Jersey Shore, and Cape Cod. We got Alaska. Some of it’s high and dry. As the song goes:

Who cares about those Polar Bears.
I got my baby seal fur coat.
I got mine and I got no cares,
Got no room left on this new houseboat.

From “Sunbathing In Siberia” by XB Cold Fingers. Used with permission.

Palin will talk about energy. For Palin “energy independence” is nuclear power, with tons of radioactive waste, “clean coal,” with the high costs of mercury, and carbon sequestration, and offshore drilling, including the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, ANWR. I don’t expect to hear her talk about solar power and wind power. I don’t expect to hear her talk about “Global Warming” or the need to move from fossil fuels to modern energy sources.

“Clean Coal” is like “Abstinence.” It’s not realistic, and therefore it’s bad policy.

Palin will probably not mention trying to fire Alaska’s Public Safety commisioner Monahan because he wouldn’t fire the state trooper who divorced her sister. She will probably talk about fighting corruption and her support of Senator Ted Stevens. It looks like, at least part of the time, she fights corruption in Alaska by sending it to Washington.

Palin will talk about her willingness to serve, and her experience: her B. A. In Journalism from Idaho State, her winning “First Runner Up” in the “Miss Alaska” contest – she didn’t even Win! Her experience as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a metropolis of 7,000, almost two years as Governor of Alaska. How exactly does Sarah Palin compare to Joe Biden? His family is bigger than Wasilla, Alaska. I am supposed to believe she can take over as President of the United States and Commander in Chief if something happens to McCain?

I don’t get McCain. He complained that Obama is popular, called him a celebrity, compared him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then in his first “Presidential” decision, he picked a woman Brittney and Paris could relate to. Altho, given their lifestyles or profession both Spears and Hilton have more overseas experience. Maybe he saw Hilton’s ad and decided to pick her, but she turned him down. Or maybe he thought she would be even better than Cindy as Miss Buffalo Chip?

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

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Filed under John McCain, Sarah Palin

The Mind of McCain

If something happens to me, this little lady can take over. But I’m only 72. I’m tough and I’m strong. I was a P. O. W. for God’s sake. And Obama:Columbia, Harvard Law, taught Law School. Big deal. Sara went to college. Got a Bachelor’s in Journalism from Idaho. Was Mayor of her city – 9000 people, and Alaska’s Governor for almost 2 years. She supports Stevens and she fired that guy Manegan cause he wouldn’t fire her sister’s ex-husband. She’s loyal and she understands power. That’s all I ask. That’s what I need.

And hey, she’d look even better than Cindy as Miss Buffalo Chip!

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Filed under Barack Obama, John McCain, Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin: Another Historic Second From The GOP

Dayton, Ohio. August 29, 2008. You got to hand it to the GOP: Another historic second from the Republican Party. Only 24 years after the Democrats nominated Geraldine Ferraro for Vice President, and after seeing what Hillary Clinton means to people who believe in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, blue collar and green collar workers, and education, the Republicans have nominated Sarah Palin, who doesn’t “believe” in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, education, or even “science” for Vice President and, as the Republicans put it, “Vice Commander in Chief.”

But she entered a beauty contest. Who did he consult? Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flynt?

And at 44 she is one of the youngest candidates for vice President ever. And at 72 John McCain is one of the oldest. Is there an age problem? Let’s think about this. She’s 44. He’s 72. 44 plus 72 is 116, 116 divided by two is 58. The average age on the Republican ticket is 58. There’s no age problem.

A few weeks ago McCain criticized Obama’s popularity, comparing him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then Rick and Cathy Hilton – Paris’ parents – criticized him, and Paris herself weighed in on Energy Policy. Paris is no Al Gore, but I wish she was a friend of mine. McCain actually nominated a beauty pagent contestant for Vice President. Have they been watching “Legally Blonde”?

The Democrats say Palin has no international experience. But she’s from Alaska. That’s practically a foreign country. I don’t know what they’re talking about.

Questions for Sarah Palin

  1. Are you related to Michael Palin, of Monty Python’s Flying Circus?
  2. As a former Beauty Queen – Did you win the “Constitutional Law Competition,” the “Bathing Suit Competition,” or the “Talent Competition”?
  3. As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, have you ever wanted to join OPEC?
  4. As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, how do you feel about Solar Energy and Wind Power?
  5. Did Condi Rice threaten to “Scratch Your Eyes Out” because she wasn’t picked? And if so, what are you prepared to do about it?

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Filed under McCain Palin, Sarah Palin