New York, NY, Aug. 20. Reading thru my insurance policy, I learned that In Bucco Lingua Syndrome, “In The Cheek The Tongue,” aka “Tongue in Cheek” Syndrome is now classified as a pre-existing condition, and it can be used to deny health benefits to anyone, regardless of race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, age, etc. A person, or “patient-like entity” with In Bucca Lingua Syndrome only requires treatment for 72 seconds. 72 seconds is the time allocated for a “patient-like entity” to present identifrication and sign away 87.9 % of one’s assets and be given a prescription for aspirin. A “patient-like entity,” also termed a “patient-like asset” or “cash cow,” is a person named on an insurance policy for whom premiums are collected and to whom actual medical care can be legally withheld.
In Bucco Lingua Syndrome is endemic among people who watch Saturday Night Live, Mad TV, the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, who as children watched Get Smart, or who live in, grew up, or went to college in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, parts of New Jersey, New York City, Boston, Massachusetts, Amherst, Mass, Madison, Wisconsin, Burlington, Vermont, and parts of California. It is also known to have effected people from Texas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Utah, but only those who left those places for New York, New Jersey, California, Vermont, and Wisconsin.
Lenny Bruce, Woody Allen, George Carlin, Robin Williams, Chris Rock, Dave Chappell and Bill Maher are the most famous celebrities who have had it.
There is no cure. However, it leads to a heightened sense of fairness and joie de vivre. It it not statistically known to negatively impact life-span. I was not diagnosed with it, but then again, I can’t afford to see a doctor.